Today, I would like to dive deep into the theme of navigating grief and reassessing our faith amidst trying times. Grief can often feel like a fiery furnace, a place where pain and anguish coalesce into a searing experience. Many people, in their darkest moments, question their faith, wonder about the nature of God, and seek ways to heal. 

In his book, A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis says it like this: 

“Where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be — or so it feels — welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside.”

So much about grief, especially at the beginning, leaves us beyond feeling as in this image of a door being slammed in your face. All that we have felt and known about God seems taken from us. The burning in the bosom is replaced by emptiness and a hollow feeling of despair. The light of before is all darkness, and the old warmth and comfort are hard to find.

In the poignant story from the book of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego face King Nebuchadnezzar’s wrath when they refuse to worship his golden idol. Their unwavering faith in God leads them into a fiery furnace, only to emerge unscathed. This is a story of miraculous resilience that serves as an anchor for understanding faith in moments of trial. And their beautiful words echo still, “But if not.” 

What if our expected miracles don’t happen? In confronting our grief, we are often faced with a reality that the healing we anticipate simply does not come in the form we hoped. True grief is something that no one can ever fully prepare for. The overwhelming flood of feelings that engulfed me when I saw my husband’s dead body were both visceral and haunting. Although I felt ministering angels by my side during those darkest moments, it was still overwhelmingly painful.

In our grief, choosing faith is an active decision we must make. Sometimes faith requires recognizing that God is indeed good, even when life does not align with our expectations. I invite you to explore your grief while holding onto hope. Working through our grief with faith that God is still good is all about understanding our pain while also seeking the light that can lead us to healing, fortitude, and connection.

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